different strokes for different folks

May 29, 2014


Opinions, everyone has one or fifty right? It seems like parenting and children are among some of the stronger topics that people have opinions on. It is kind of like in the work place, you can't talk about certain things, your pay, religion, politics, sexual orientation. I feel like parenting should fall in those categories. Ha! Everyone does things differently. And that is okay. Actually I prefer it, doing different things with all my kids has allowed me to figure out what works and doesn't work for us.

I think some of the most outrageous opinions come from people who don't have kids. Why would I say that? Because I was that person! I had all these ideas in my head about having kids before I ever popped one out. Breast feeding? Isn't that what they made bottles for, I mean I put them on my registry and everything. Co-sleeping? What is that? Didn't we just spend a pretty penny on a crib? I totally thought, my kid will be on a schedule, none of this I just sleep and eat when I want jazz. And tantrums? Clearly my children will be the most well behaved, perfect mannered, uphold the utmost respect for people, place, and things in all the land! See...don't you just want to slap me? If only I could time travel I would walk right up to myself and point and laugh......hard!

Now obviously not all people without kids think like this, just the incredibly naive ones like myself. I have since been reprogrammed. Other mothers have a whole different ball game of opinions. The mamas at the park that can't believe you are not trailing behind your child as they climb up the slide. The mom in Target who is appalled that your son is stripping down in the diaper aisle. The mothers at the pre-school drop off that cannot believe you didn't wake up your sleeping baby to bring your son three feet from the car to the teacher who was standing outside. And these moms like to let you know their opinion. I myself, much prefer the dirty looks than the commentary. 

So how to deal with it? I like the smile and nod approach. I never really feel a reason to defend my parenting. Are my children harming yours? Are my children harming themselves? Am I harming my children? If the answer to all of these is NO, than I think everything will be okay. There is a difference between opinions and advice. Advice is sought out, looked for, wanted, even needed. Opinions are personal views, your attitude and feelings on things. So unless you have tried to convince a four year old that his plate, cup, and utensil do not need to match in order to eat. Or argued with a two year old about the reason why his pants won't go on is because that is a shirt. I have a hard time accepting your opinions. Smile and nod.....just smile-and-nod. 

From Here to EternityWords About Waverly
my delicious adventure Photobucket
My Delicious Adventure                  The Life Of Faith
Running From The LawThe Olive Tree
         

May 8:          Taming the Temper Tantrums
May 15:        Weaning from Breastfeeding or From Formula to Cow’s Milk 
May 22:        Dealing with Mommy Guilt
May 29:        When People Share Their Opinions and How to Lovingly Handle it
June 5:         Traveling with your Toddler
June 12:       How to get your toddler to eat their veggies…or their food at all
June 19:       How to make time to blog in the busyness of motherhood
June 26:       Bedtime Battles (nap or bedtime)

10 comments:

  1. Hi there! New reader from the link up. I absolutely love your perspective on this topic. Live and let live! Great blog as well - I look forward to following you! Enjoy the rest of your day.

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  2. Smile. Nod. And discreetly flick them off when no one is looking. Look kids! A deer!

    I'm only half joking. More often than not I say things like oh yeah.... I know I know. And shake my head at myself. I need some self esteem. ;)

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  3. That picture is seriously amazing! Haha.

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  4. haha love this!!! btw I was totally that single woman who was going to have the most well behaved kids! Wake up call!

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  5. Duuuude... parenting skillz should totally be added to the "do not talk about" list! Someone should pay you big for that idea ;)
    I'm with you, smile and nod.... then run away as fast as I can :)
    Also, the sad part about me is that I STILL have high expectations for us (me, Eric, Mia) even though I am a mother now and I HAVE had the wake up call. I guess I'll never learn! But I don't try to pass on those expectations to anyone else, so at least there's that.

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  6. You hit the nail on the head: there is a HUGE difference between opinions and advice. I say, ignore the opinions and only put value in the advice that's given to you when you ask for it!

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  7. Smile and nod, I have to do that more often. Sometimes I feel like I gave to defend myself. Time to stop worrying about those who are going to judge.

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  8. YES!!! Totally agree. How come people feel like it's ok to insult your parenting because they don't feel it's right but you can't talk about certain other topics? I think it should be added to the list. LOVE LOVE LOVE your way of thinking. I need to smile and nod more often. I got an email from a family member (who never had kids of her own), TOTALLY judging and insulting my parenting. It was so bad, it made me so mad and I cried. That's not advice! That's an insult. And if you feel like I'm doing something "wrong" or not to your liking, just please keep it to yourself. What's the saying? If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. :)

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  9. Fuck strangers. Especially the ones without kids. I can't wait for their kids to be a million times worse. It would have made my day to see two little Buzz Lightyears in Target!

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  10. Love this series & am so glad I found you through it!! Yes, my kids were going to be tantrum-less, too!! ;)

    wordsaboutwaverly.blogspot.com

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