Oct 5, 2014
Or lack thereof. Clearly I am no stranger to pregnancy symptoms. What I am a stranger to is taking care of three toddlers....while experiencing pregnancy symptoms. I wish I could sit here and say that the first trimester was just so great, I mean ya I was tired, but you know all around not too bad. Bullshit! I am not one for the sugar coating of motherhood, so the first trimester of this fourth pregnancy was nothing short of the depths of hell. I spent probably 96.4% of my day in the fetal position on the couch. The rest of the day you could probably find me kneeling ever so gracefully over the toilet. Yes, it was that bad. Every single day from week 5 to 13. I thought Avalon's pregnancy started out a little rough, but what is that saying? Things can always get worse, well yes, yes they can.
If my children possessed the literacy skills they could most definitely write a book about "What to expect from your mother in the first trimester....Nothing!". And it would be true, I was completely worthless as a human being. My children learned a lot about independence in those few weeks. So shall I share some scenarios with you?
During the first few weeks Chris went to Japan for two weeks, talk about great timing. My all day sickness was in full effect, and my children were also in full effect. Chris asked me to send him a picture of the kids and I sent the one above, to which he replied, "since when do we buy cocoa puffs?" I said, "I have no idea, that is what happens when a pregnant woman throws up in the parking lot and then takes three kids shopping. They did the shopping, I swiped the card." And it was true. All I was good for was the cart pushing. They had the best time is all I can remember.
Potty training who? Pierce went from doing pretty okay at potty training, to just peeing on everything. Considering that I couldn't stand the smell of any bodily fluid, it made it hard to keep up with a bladder the size of an olive. He spent a lot of time in pull-ups since he can easily put those on. I would always hear from my perch on the couch, "MOM PIERCE PEED ON THE FLOOR AGAIN". I would cringed and then wrap a towel around my face in order to tackle the mess. We went through a lot of carpet cleaner!
Cooking! Nada! My children ate the weirdest array of foods when I wasn't cooking regular meals. I could not stand the smell of any food. Warming them things up in the microwave would take almost an hour because I would have to run for my life the second I caught a whiff of something. I will never forget one morning when I could smell one of my neighbors grilling something. I texted Chris to say "I am five seconds away from calling the cops on whoever is grilling spam at 8am". He replied with "please tell me you realize you're completely out of your mind". The answer is no Christopher I do not see it that way (even though I should).
Call in the hazmat crew! My house was disgusting! There is no way around it, I didn't clean for weeks. The laundry pile in my room was halfway up the wall!! I managed to do the kids' laundry, but my own, no, Chris' not a chance. And when I got really desperate I ordered things online (shameful). One day one of Chris' friends from work stopped by to pick something up, this is someone who is at my house regularly for a cup of coffee. He came to the door and I immediately said "you can't come in" he was like "uh is everything okay?" I said "just wait here". After he left Chris called and said, so Andy thinks you're nuts. Ha! But that is how messy my house was. I finally remedied the situation with some outside help.
Personal hygiene. I am embarrassed for myself on this one. I had no energy to get in the shower. It just seemed like so much work. Not to mention in one of my nausea induced rages I threw out all my shower products, the smells people! I would wait until Chris got home, no matter how late it was, even if he had to wake me from a smelly slumber to just sit in the shower. One night he came home and said, "why don't you go soak in a bath", I said "I smell that bad huh?" he said " let's just say you look like you have been on a month long binger".
There was just no hope during those 8 weeks. Ace would tell people "this baby makes my mom kind of weird". When I went to my eight week OB appointment he asked me, how are you feeling? I said " like shit that got ran over by a semi". My midwife said, oh good that's what we like to hear, the sicker you are the healthier the baby. So I am giving birth to superman or superwoman! They offered me things to help with the nausea and insomnia, but I tend to go super au naturel when it comes to pregnancy. It would take me too long to explain the complexity that is my thought process. But we made it. All children are alive!! We are re-potty training Pierce. Chris is going to work in clean underwear. I shower more regularly, and we have scented candles back in the casa de crazy!
Trust me I know this is not really that bad compared to what some women experience during pregnancy, and I am super happy that baby and I are healthy and in a more functioning state. But that is the crazy thing about pregnancy and labor, you kind of forget about all the intensity because the end result is so damn wonderful.
So tell me, what was your first trimester like? If you are on the multiple kid train like myself were your first trimesters different? All of mine have had a mind of their own!