doing it all

May 28, 2015

There is no such thing! I think we now live in a world where social media distorts real life. Part of me is okay with that. Everyone likes to see something pretty throughout the day. Hell, I am super guilty of having a well curated instagram. We all like to show the pretty things going on in our lives, rather than the messy. It's cool...and inspirational at times. But, "comparison is the thief of joy" my friends. 

We have all had those days where we were up all night, maybe with a baby, maybe not feeling well, or maybe with a baby that wasn't feeling well. You spilled your coffee before you could even get one sip. Your child then lets you know they wet their bed, and on top of that you forgot it was a preschool morning. You stop for a second to check out the gram and see that everyone else's day seems to be going swimmingly, You think...how? How can they possibly have it all together? To do it all? 

When people ask me this question I sometimes cringe. Like, no not me! I certainly do not have it all together like this blog or my instagram may imply at times. I certainly wish I did. That is just not the truth. I am sure we have all seen the saying "we all have the same hours in the day as Beyonce" well, queen bee has a disgusting amount of money to pay three people to complete one task if need be. So while yes, we all have the same hours as she does, she has a village I am sure making it possible for her to function at such a high caliber. So to the left to the left....

I remember when I first quit my job to stay home with Ace, I was so used to working in a fast paced environment that at home I acted like I was on speed. Just constantly doing something. Moving from one task to the next. Never to let there be a dish uncleaned or a piece of laundry left in the dryer. I was on it! I felt like wonder woman some days waiting for Chris to get home from work, like house is cleaned, baby is fed and happy, dinner is made, I am woman hear me roar!! Then I had more kids. And more, and more. The dishes piled up for longer than I care to admit. Laundry folded and put away? What does that even look like? There are toys outside of their designated areas, most recently a shit ton of legos that found a new home on the floor. Sometimes I just walk away from these messes because it's like groundhogs day over here....make a mess...clean a mess...make a bigger mess....mom leaves the mess.

I grew up with a mom who owned her own business, she had an office at home but was very rarely available even when she was in there. She was 100% go go go all the time! I saw that she had help in every aspect, someone to take us to school and pick us up, a cleaning lady, a gardener, a pool guy, at one point even a cook to come in and prepare many meals to freeze. She worked hard, harder than I have ever seen someone work. Even raising five kids, I can tell you she wasn't doing it all. She couldn't be in five places at one time. I can remember on Friday nights when my brother would have a football game she would watch the first half of his game, then race across town to come watch me cheer at the second half of my schools game. Weekends she would be running around from braiding my hair at a horse competition, to cheering at the sidelines for my sisters soccer game, to my brother's basketball game, with my youngest brother and sister in tow. It was all nuts all the time. (The daughter apple doesn't fall far from the mother tree). Even now looking back my mom will tell you that she loves to work, not that she didn't love being a mom, but she enjoyed and still does, that time and energy put into her business. My hat goes off to working moms who play that role during the day and come home only to change into a different costume and take care of children.

Being a stay at home mom I can see the need for an outlet. For me that is fashion. Leaving my job in merchandising didn't mean my love for creating outfits went away. If anything it grew stronger, so I make time for it. I don't get dressed during the day for anyone besides myself. My kids could careless if I wore a trash bag around the house. Chris is always amazed that I find time to shower. But for me, that time in my closet putting myself together is the time I need. While I take the time to do that something else is not being done. Whether that be the dishes, the laundry, the chalk left in the driveway from a morning of playing, those damn legos, dinner prep, the list could go on and on. What I am saying is, that when we see someone who appears to have it "all together" they chose to put energy into that portrayal that day. For some moms it is working out, making that time to clear their head and feel good about themselves, but I can guarantee that finding that time isn't easy. That they are sacrificing something else to attain it. It's a circus act that no one is able to perform flawlessly.

It is something I have to constantly remind myself of. That it is okay to say no to things, that I in fact cannot do it all. There is no need to make excuses for it, I do the best I can when I can. There is no shame in asking for help when it is needed, or hiring help for that matter. Or doing neither and just learning to live in a mess! Ha!

So while having it all and doing it all may seem great, I like a side of dysfunction to round out a healthy dose of my day. And maybe a little more coffee, because the kids are asleep and there are no clean forks for breakfast in the morning.


10 comments:

  1. Great post! You are so right that social media tends to give this 'everything is perfect' show which can be daunting at times for someone like me who is so afraid of the fact that come this winter Ill have two kids LOL. How does that mom do it all? Hair and amkeup everyday? Working out? Work?! aHHH

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    1. I am right there with you! And two is a big adjustment in my opinion. But you can totally do it!

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  2. Life is better with some dysfunction in it! :)

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  3. I embrace the dysfunction! Your time is in your closet, mine is in my basement on the treadmill. I sacrifice sleep for it. Even if Dom is up five times that night, it's a priority to me. Everyone has got their thing. This was a great post!! And yes Instagram, man. So many beautiful pictures and I'm like. Wow.

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  4. Totally agree. It seems with social media we can edit out all of the bad, or the crazy, and only put out the beautiful. But i like it when blogs are honest and can actually share things that don't seem so rehearsed.

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  5. I absolutely love this post! Social media can be a dark hole of comparison....

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  6. Motherhood is basically a balancing act of choosing what to give up in order to make something else a priority.

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  7. Like you, I try to always post the pretty stuff on IG. But for every nice thing I post, there are like 10 things that got cropped out of the picture.

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  8. Like they say, "if you want something done, ask a busy person to do it". Women are great multi-taskers, and your blog is a salute to our gift!

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