a barracks wedding

Sep 29, 2015

How's that for a post title? Kind of scary if you ask me....which brings me to today's topic. I can't remember where I saw this, it could have been one of many social media channels, but the question was, what if you had to get married at the exact same place you met your spouse, where would that be? 

I thought it was absolutely brilliant! And then it dawned on me that I would have to get married in an Army barracks in Washington, surrounded by a bunch of infantry soldiers. You can read all about the lengthy meeting and eventual eloping of Chris and I here and here. But what if it were all different? What if I really had to get married in that place? 
commemorative cell phone photo since I was the DD that night, circa November 2005

My wedding would look something like this. 

A cold, muggy, non-air conditioned building would be the venue of choice. Our wedding colors would be tan and olive green. Our guests would be welcomed not with the smell of white lilies, but rather a more potent combination. One of male body odor, masked with cheap cologne, and possibly the hint of a hot pocket cooking. The wedding aisle would be dark seeing as how the lights were out in the hallway. Except there would be a little flicker of light from where one light bulb was holding on for dear life. On either side of the aisle would be miscellaneous objects such as shoes, toilet paper, and dirty laundry. You would hear the loud laughter come from the rooms on either side. Our wedding guests would stick to a very casual dress code, that may even include some army BDU's that had just come out of a week in the field. There would more than likely be an open bar, because this was ten years ago and the barracks were a much different place then they are today! Our resident dj's would be playing an eclectic mix of country, hip hop and a little R&B for the ladies. The male to female ratio of our wedding guests would be extreme. The females that did show up to this lavish affair would have a very hard time going to the bathroom, seeing as how the only "ladies" room was in the barracks basement, and there was also no working light or toilet paper to be found. Sorry wedding guests, toilet paper was not in the budget. 
picture taken by my college roommate in Chris' barracks room the night we met

The ceremony itself would be quick, because there is a curfew in this place. The reception would happen outside in an open space known as the parking lot. Our guests and ourselves would congregate around an array of vehicular devices. Chris' best friend (who is still his bff to this day, and actually did come to our real wedding) would give a speech about how crazy marriage is, and how he is losing his wing man. Our guests would roar with laughter and inappropriate shouts, and then we would all pile into our designated vehicles and drive away. Never to speak of this day again. 

(When I brought this funny subject up to Chris, he belted out...."we fell in love in a hopeless place" so you know, clearly he gets it) 


Okay, your turn, where would you have to get married? Set the scene a little bit because I'm nosy!

11 comments:

  1. I love this post so much! Ours would be in the main student building of our university. In line for Pollo Tropical, if you want to get technical.. LOL

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  2. I read your love story for the first time and wow, you guys are awesome! It was very inspiring as a "follow-your-heart" (I lean towards follow-your-head, aka: reserved and cautious).

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  3. I would have to marry Dan at LA Fitness. The front desk to be exact. In front of hundreds of sweaty, smelly, half dressed people. :)

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  4. Haha this is awesome! We would have gotten married in 6th grade history class.

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    1. Well, well then, you might have to get a parent signature for that one! ;)

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  5. When I would visit Mike at the Marine Infantry barracks he'd make me wear a huge sweatshirt and hood so the guys wouldn't cat call me. haha The barracks are quite the sight to see. We would get married in our friends mom's backyard.

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  6. Love this! We'd have to get married in a very small coffee shop in the building my husband worked at. Not at all glamorous, but at least the coffee and pastries would be awesome!

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    1. Umm....I think I would totally get married in a coffee shop! I mean, I eloped, clearly my standards aren't high. LOL ;)

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  7. Oh my god this is hilarious! What a fun thought! That place sounds hopeless alright. If I were to get married where I met Matt it would be on board of a carnival cruise ship off the coast of Virginia surrounded by both of our immediate families sooo..... I think I win this one. But sure as hell not in the humor category. ;)

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  8. We would be getting married in Ranger School...yeah baby! Nothing says romance quite like shitting in a hole in the woods and going days without sleep ;) Also, Dane sings that same verse when talking about how we met, LOL!

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