what exactly does a stay at home mom look like?

Feb 24, 2016

When I first decided to stay at home with Ace, I fell into the stereotypical image of a stay at home mom. Same sweatpants three days in a row. Hair on top of my head. Probably breastmilk stains on my shirt, half full coffee cups scattered around my house. I really did stop buying myself nice clothes, or even clothes I really wanted unless I had somewhere concrete to wear them too. I lost a little bit of myself in all that. I quit a job working in fashion to be with my baby, a choice I have never for a second regretted. But there was always something missing in my day to day. I can remember Chris coming home one day and saying "when's the last time you put on makeup, or went and got your hair done? I had every excuse in the book ready for him. What do you mean? I am so busy, I can't possibly do my hair, or put makeup on. And goooooo get my hair done? What the hell is that? I have this little baby who I feed every couple hours......blah blah blah!!! Shut up! 

It wasn't until after I had Pierce that I was like, snap out of this. You aren't happy because you aren't taking care of yourself. I just went through the motions. But still in my spare time I was looking at magazines, reading fashion blogs, browsing my favorite sites seasonal look books. And that's when I flipped the switch. I started to take some pride in my appearance again. I went shopping and did some major damage. I threw out everything in my closet that I knew was not me. I started small, but daily I got myself ready, no matter if it happened at 6 am, or 6 pm. I made myself a priority. 
Alaska Fashion Blogger- Pardon My French
Which brings me to now. I get comments all the time about where exactly do I wear the outfits that I post on here or social media? How can I possibly get ready with four kids? And with four kids, why am I wearing such nice things? Do I even wear the outfits that I post? (Yes, I have the bruises from falling in the wrong footwear choices to prove it). Well let me tell you. I buy the things that I like regardless if there is an "appropriate" place to wear them. I have zero issues going to the grocery store in a maxi dress. I don't think twice about throwing on a pair of heels to go out to brunch with the family on the weekend. Does this full on glam happen everyday? Come on now...no. I have zero help when it comes to my kids. No babysitters stepping in, no cleaning lady to pick up the pieces, and more often than not Chris is gone. So I make time. I wake up much earlier than my kids and get myself ready for the day. In whatever outfit I feel good in. Kindergarten drop off doesn't always require a blazer, but I like blazers. If you follow me on snapchat than you see that I don't always have a full face of makeup on. During the week I actually like to give my skin a break and wear nothing at all. But I like getting ready. I love makeup, and I love putting outfits together in my closet. So that's what I do. 

I feel like every mom makes time for something. Some go to the gym. Some get a babysitter for date night. Some call in the grandparents for help. I find therapy in putting myself together. It's not a vanity thing, it's a feel good thing. It has nothing to do with weight, or what size my jeans are. I haven't seen the inside of a gym since college cheerleading. If I cared about the number on a scale, maybe I'd workout. I care about how I feel on the inside, and that translates to how I am on the outside. I want to be happy for my kids, because more often than not they see me at my worst. And also, in pictures I don't want my kids to look back and be like, man, mom was looking rough! I look at pictures of my mom, and with five kids she was always pretty put together. Now does that mean just because I do it, I think you should do it? No. Everyone has their own threshold, and everyones circumstances are different. Motherhood isn't a one size fits all. 
Mom Style Outfit Ideas
People always say, "your kids are only little once" yes, and I am only going to be 28 ONCE! I don't take time away from my kids to get ready, even though I do encourage some independent play at times. I am always down for whatever when it comes to the kids. Hiking, ice skating, playing at the park. I grew up on a ranch, so I am not afraid to get dirty. I always have a pair of sneakers in my car to change into. And if I ruin something I am wearing, eff it. Those memories where made with my kids, and I was feeling good in whatever I put on that day. All this doesn't happen everyday. Four kids, activities, homeschooling one, a dog, oh and Chris is a load of crazy from the time we all wake up to the time they go to bed. I have plenty of leggings and oversized sweater days. There are times that Chris comes home and hugs me and says "wow, you are smelling a little ripe there babe". And I am okay with it. I am okay with all of it. I don't pass judgement on moms who don't do the same, because I have been there. And quite frankly some days I'm like, I don't want to do my hair. So I don't. But on days that I can squeeze it in, I do. 

You make your own image, what you write in the occupation section on your child's well check paperwork does not. 

Now what's that saying? Turn on some ganster rap and handle that shit? Ya, lets just do that!


12 comments:

  1. I absolutely love this! You are right every person should find the thing that makes them feel good.

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    1. It's a struggle at time with kids, but it is worth it for the sanity! ha ;)

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  2. This hits me in all the right places. I am a gym mom. Not so much a hair done, makeup done mom. But when I do take the time to get "done up"... I love it & always think to myself that I should do it more often! you go girl.

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    1. I can totally understand that. Chris has to start his day off in the gym, he is just happier and feels so much more productive. And he knows that having time to get ready is my release, so we try to support each other in that.

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  3. YASS GIRL YASSS! That's really all I have to say about this because you totally rock it!

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  4. Love this so much (particularly the line "man, mom was looking rough!"). Maybe you've said it before on your blog, or maybe other bloggers have said it, but the truth that everyone needs to find what makes them happy rings so true. I think I'm still trying to find "my thing." It might be running, but I'm still not sure. I may not look like a runner (the jiggle is real) but it makes me so happy. (This was a long rambling comment, sorry)

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  5. Man! You are so on point--I love it!! Thanks for writing this.

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    1. Thanks Jessica! Totally means a lot :)

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  6. What a great post! You are so right, as moms we all make time for the things that help us feel whole and still like a person not just a mom! It's different for everyone. I love the outfits you put together and admire that you wear whatever you want!! And personally, I am more shocked that you wear those outfits in Alaska, having lived there myself. I recently asked about your makeup routine, but that is mostly because I am makeup dumb and would love the tips you have about easy/quick makeup!!

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    1. Ha! Totally not the norm in Alaska, that's for sure. But, I try to make it work ;) I am absolutely trying to get more videos of my makeup routine done, hopefully next month I will have one up on just my quick day to day products!

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  7. You go girl! I always feel like you do... You can find the time to do whatever it is that's important to you. I get up early to run. Yes it's my thing. But I also always do my makeup. Not fancy like you but something. And I do it fassssst. All about speed! Lol

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  8. Love this post so much! And I love that you occasionally rock the yoga pants. For me, it's more often than not, but I do love those days where I actually have a chance to try! I certainly need to update the wardrobe though!

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